Just be really careful about how you talk to her, even if she disrespects you, talking back to her disrespectfully will only encourage this behavior. I know a teenage girl can be frustrating, you as a parent are right to take things away if she don't take care of them or don't buy her things if she don't take care of what she has. Do as much as you have to and tell her, it was the bare minimum to get by, like your grades. You can handle all of this in a nice way, she will think you fell and bumped your head. I wish you luck with her, soon she will be out of your house and on her own, you will miss her. Hopefully she will care for her own house better than she cares for yours now. I wish you much luck and patience.
Lori, your words meant a lot to me and your stories and experiences as well were most enlightening. WE have no soup kitchen here ,but it sounds great. Glad to know I am not the only one in this boat. What you say about boys driving is the opposite in my house. My son was a speeder at heart but after enough tickets and insurance hikes he has done an about face. I am honestly afraid to turn my daughter loose in a car without me there. I did let her go around a subdivision where her grandmother lives .Her friend whom, was with her at the time said she drove much better without me there. What does that mean? I think it means when depending on herself she pays more attention to whats happening than relying on me to alert her to other things going on around her.I will certainly try the 2 compliments aday and let you know how that goes.Although I may be hard pressed to find 5 maybe I will fine 3...lol
Just work on it hummingbird, it takes time. Sometimes it is easier for us to find the flaws in people than the diamonds. I am sure that your kids are great people, I am sure that if you stop and think of a more innocent time maybe when they were little and you watched them sleep when they did not know you were watching, LOL. Those thoughts always brought a smile to my face.
My youngest is in jail now, that boy has broke my heart and raised my blood pressure more than once. I know that is not his intention. He is just being a young 27 year old man, I see improvements and then something happens and he is right back in jail again. No matter what he does, he is my son and I love him. Your kids will try your patience, they will try you, they will down right wear you out. But you know what, if there come a day when they are down and out, in a hospital bed, mine turned 27 on life support, drug overdose, I prayed to god every minute that he just open his eyes. Just open your eyes, just open your eyes, just open your eyes, oh god I prayed and prayed. He eventually come out of it and his heart was damaged. He is his own person and with all his stupid mistakes that he makes, he is still my son and as mad as he gets me, I will always be there for him. Because I am his mother.
I wish you luck, hang in there with your kids, they are not targeting you, but they are struggling between adulthood and childhood, just try to be supportive and give them guidance. We know you have it in you.
I feel for you, hope he straightens out soon. God bless you. That was a really moving post, I am sure that every parent here will appreciate it.
Lori,
As far as those that can't control a three year old, omg, get real, they must have let this child get a way with everything from birth. I think at three there is still time to turn it around, might be a little rough, three year olds can be pretty stubborn and set in there ways, but with positive reinforcement miracles can happen. I think this is just a product of bad parenting or just plain ignorance. They do have parenting classes if it is just a case of not knowing what you are doing, some of these people need to look them up and take them.
and yeah erb, I do feel like kicking the poop out of them, LOL.
I think it means when depending on herself she pays more attention to whats happening than relying on me to alert her to other things going on around her.
maybe, that could be part of it..
Quote:
Her friend whom, was with her at the time said she drove much better without me there. What does that mean?.
It means she's a teenage girl that (where her mother is concerned) she knows EVERYTHING there is to know, and she (at times) tries to piss you off, because, well you piss her off ! it's the nature of the beast for awhile....and really another teen aged girl in my book wouldn't be a good 'driving credic! ha ha....I get what you mean though, and I think they do better at alot of things out of our site!
Quote:
will certainly try the 2 compliments aday and let you know how that goes.Although I may be hard pressed to find 5 maybe I will fine 3...lol
YOU CAN DO IT!!! I promise if you do it for 30days you will see a difference and also don't forget 'pick your battles'....her messy room more than likely won't have a hoot to do with the type of grown up she turns out to be...which really is our job right? raising them to be responsible, respectful, caring adults right? Drove me crazy too, but I HAD to get over it, and shut the door, otherwise I was bitchin' non-stop, so I had to decide (before I started in) ''does this REALLY matter"...Lord knows there is plenty that DOES so let the little stuff go........ _________________ **************************************
Life gaurantees a chance NOT a fair shake
**************************************
FIND a way EVERY day to lighten the load of another
**************************************
Seems like we have somehow moved ourselves away from the main topic, which I actually don't remember, but I think it was about "Teenage Drivers" or something.
Now we seem to be into "Parenting", which can be a good subject, too.
Parents most often make the mistake of being "dictators".
Let's face it, our kids spend more time with their teachers at school than they do with their parents. When we, as parents, do get some time with our kids, we don't make it quality time.
"You get in there and clean your room, right now mister!" or, I really like this one, "When I was your age I didn't have those nice video games and stuff, you just don't know how to appreciate things!".
Since when are we doing our kids a favor when we go to Wal-Mart and buy them a $50 video game, where they can spend the next month sitting in front of a TV screen, just making their butts bigger?
Then we wonder why their grades are down. Then we spend the next six weeks telling them how they can do better.
Everyone likes to be needed and to be a "part" of something, even our kids.
When was the last time you just sat down with your son or daughter, told them about a problem and asked - "What do you think?"
Our kids are not "property", they are a gift. _________________
Yes well, my daughter will be the first one to tell me,she don't give a hoot about any problem I have. Doesn't want to hear it. . My daughter was born on Easter.She started out so well and turned into a harmonal monster.But I am still trying never gave up yet. I am thankful for all the tips and stories here.makes me try harder. I know I am lucky to have my kids and no drug problems ,...yet... And yes we have veered away for the whole insurance topic...lol Sorry I think thay may have been my fault.
Yeah, we blew way off topic, maybe, teen driving and parenting are hand in hand right? or should be anyway!
Maze, great take, and insight...
Quote:
Our kids are not "property", they are a gift.
They truly are and even the best of parents need to be reminded of this from time to time, and all are guilty of the dictoral nagging I'm sure....
Hummingbird there are some fantastic books out there, (library is free, before we get into cost )...that provide good information....
Quote:
But I am still trying never gave up yet I know I am lucky to have my kids and no drug problems ,...yet
YOU have got to ditch the ''yet''... It's all about attitude, she clearly knows you feel this way... You know if YOU change YOUR behavior, (notice I didn't say ''feelings'') you'll be amaze how quickly things can turn around...You don't have to feel all sweet toward someone inside to BEHAVE in a sweet kind manner, and before long the feelings WILL follow the behavior....I promise....(this works with spouses too! )....
Quote:
Yes well, my daughter will be the first one to tell me,she don't give a hoot about any problem I have. Doesn't want to hear it.
I'm sorry but I've got to say this...she isn't supposed to help you with your problems....that's what your friends and husband are for....Ins maze was focusing on the fact that all humans need to be needed.....and feel a part of something (a family).....and that their opinion 'counts' for something.
Quote:
I am thankful for all the tips and stories here.makes me try harder
I'm glad and sure everyone else is as well, feel free to pm me anytime if you need someone to talk to.... _________________ **************************************
Life gaurantees a chance NOT a fair shake
**************************************
FIND a way EVERY day to lighten the load of another
**************************************
I think sometimes what seems huge to a teenager may seem small to us, I think what we have to remember is that just because we have already been through it does not minimize it for them, this is their first experience with the issue.
Just as she says she don't care about your problems, she probably is not mature enough to understand the impact or the problem. I wish you luck and we are here for you. LOL
I think sometimes what seems huge to a teenager may seem small to us, I think what we have to remember is that just because we have already been through it does not minimize it for them, this is their first experience with the issue.
I know that I have been guilty of this...and find it soooooooo freakin' annoying when someone does it to me! I'm sure this is something we all (me anyway! ) could work on....thanks for that ...........good natured....... _________________ **************************************
Life gaurantees a chance NOT a fair shake
**************************************
FIND a way EVERY day to lighten the load of another
**************************************
Thank you all for your insight. I will try to remember all your great advice.Especially when my daughter is yelling in my face....lol Thats hard to be kind and sweet at thoses moments. Hope it works and she doesn't see it as my defeat.We get along great when she is getting what she wants...lol When I am explaining our financial fix to her as to why she can't have the many things she asks for (something new)everyday. She gets angry and says she doesn't want to hear my problems.
I once told her that just becasue something isn't important to her dad does not mean it isn't important to her.Thats when her and her dad butted heads. So I honestly see the point with these things.
No, my teen is not. She has had her license for a few months now and I still don't think she is alert enough. To much cd tuning for one.I let her let me out at a resturant and she went to turn around,in the parkingblot. She backed in to a LP gas tank.Thats the reason she still does not drive alone and I for one am not worried about her getting a car of her own. Maybe one day.Its every one's call. _________________ http://insuranceexperiences.ampminsure.org/
it's the nature of the beast for awhile....and really another teen aged girl in my book wouldn't be a good 'driving credic! ha ha....I get what you mean though, and I think they do better at alot of things out of our site! 
You know if 
) could work on....thanks for that ...........good natured.......
