I have a terminal disease

by J Rice » Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:28 pm
Posts: 1
Joined: 29 Nov 2008

I have a terminal disease and I am in the process of a divorce from my wife.
She wants me to put in the divorce papers that she gets half of my life insurance when I pass away. Do I have to let her have it. Is it even negotiable? Can I change benificiaries after the divorce is final?

Total Comments: 39

Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 02:08 am Post Subject:

No, Also you should be able to designate anyone you want as the beneficiary. If you are leaving a policy behind you could also leave a will that says whom gets the benefits when you die. This way it is listed twice. Once on the life insurance policy and once in your will. You never have to let anyone have life insurance benefits that you do not want to have them. Make sure you call your policy agent or agency and get the ball moving to change your beneficiary information.

Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 05:43 am Post Subject: insurance

FIREYONE is SOOOOOO right. Just because you are married, doesn't mean you have to put your spouse on there. You can put anyone on it that you want. Just remember (..a little tidbit..) whoever you DO put on your Life Insurance,make sure you can trust them. I've heard TOOOOOOO many 'horror stories' about the 'other' taking someones Life Insurance and taking everything they had...money hungry type people.

Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 07:03 pm Post Subject:

I have a terminal disease and I am in the process of a divorce from my wife.

Well ain't she just a 'peach' of a gal... :roll: forgot that ''sickness and in health'' part I guess.. :roll:

She wants me to put in the divorce papers that she gets half of my life insurance when I pass away.

She can want in one hand, and well you know the rest...unless a judge orders this...no way, and I'd change the beneficary TODAY...

Do I have to let her have it. Is it even negotiable?

Of course you don't have to let her have it unless a judge says you have to...and I doubt that unless you have minor children still at home that she will have to raise...

Can I change benificiaries after the divorce is final?

You can change it NOW...some states may require that a spouse gets it, but since you are in the process of a divorce I don't think so....first, what state are you in? when will the divorce be final? are their minor children? and I'm so sorry and hope that you (and docs) are wrong about the 'terminal' part...you know people beat the odds everyday...

Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 10:12 pm Post Subject: I would go with do the right thing.............

I think it depends on why your getting a divorce, if you have kids & how much your policy is for.
I am sorry to see that you are ill, but if I were in your shoes, I would leave my money with someone I cared about. Some life insurance policies are very large. Leave it with someone you truly care about so they can change their life for the better after you are gone. I'm sure that you will feel good knowing that you are helping someone on your way out.
If she is the reason for the divorce I would'nt leave her anything. If you have kids with her you can leave the money with a trusted family member or have a lawyer set a trust fund for your kids.

Just do what you feel is the right thing, and enjoy the rest of your life.

Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 10:12 pm Post Subject: insurance

Yep........I agree with LORI. You need to change this as soon as you can. Sounds just like a 'money hungry' kind of thing...again. Alot of 'those' on this forum. What happen to REAL love..ya know?

Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 01:07 am Post Subject:

Wow can a judge actually order you to leave a spouse as the beneficiary? I can see if there are children eft behind but then why not make them the beneficiary? I always thought it was your own personal choice.

Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 02:39 am Post Subject: insurance

I din't think you can be ORDERED to leave the spouse as Beneficiary. When I was still seperated, I had a very good friend of mine, who was ALSO POA, as my Beneficiary...NOT my husband ( at the time.)

Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 02:36 pm Post Subject:

it is not uncommon for a judge to order that the ex-spouse be named as beneficiary or trustee for the children of the life policy until they reach adulthood..however the ex doesn't HAVE to be the beneficary.

Personally i'd leave my divorce attorney as beneficary/trustee of my life policy, that way you could further stipulate when and how they are to get the money (pay college tuition, all at once, payments once a year etc)...your attorney would get paid for doing this but it will be minimal, and should come out of the life policy proceeds. And really it depends on how sizeable this policy is...a trust may need to be set up, but that's not a big deal either....at any rate there is no way on this earth my ex that is divorcing me in my hour of need would touch one penney of this (IMO)...You can always leave a relative or friend..but people can change, this way you are assured, your wishes cannot be changed...if the atty retires or dies, a partner picks it up and the terms do not change.


Let us know the amount of the policy etc..see if you can't work out with your atty a way that he or she can administrate this the way YOU want it done....

Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:59 pm Post Subject:

I like that idea Lori. It would seem a wise idea to leave the divorce atty as the trustee. I agree with you I would NEVER leave an ex money if he left me in m y time of need. I would however make sure my children were provided for.

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 04:29 am Post Subject: insurance

YEP...I agree with everyone above. You have enough going in your life right now, J RICE. Sometimes we all really need someone to 'hold on to.' Apparently.....your wife did NOT want to be that 'someone'. i think that was horrible to do that. I guess, NOW, you can see her 'true colors.'

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