Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:50 am Post subject: Fun Zone
Hi guys,
Lets make this thread a fun zone by sharing all the funny things that you come across. Jokes, humorous stories, funny videos, etc., post whatever funny thing you like. Lets help people to come and relax at this place.
Thanks,
Evan
I got this funny thing in my mailbox today and thought of sharing it with you guys.
Its actually a "HATE letter". You will definitely fall off your chairs after reading it. Enjoy!!
This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's father did not like the guy and wanted them to stop the relationship......and so.. the boy wrote this letter to the girl. He knew that the girl's father will definitely read this letter,
1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think
that
25 I am still your boyfriend."
So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to
the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE
LINES", meaning-only to read the Odd Nos. (eg, 1,3,5,7 and so on)
here is one email that i have received from a friend. I think this is funny. Its a question and answer thing. You will be surprised of the answers. Answers that you won't think of.
Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built.
Q. Approximately how many birthdays does the average Japanese woman have?
A. Just one. All the others are anniversaries.
Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. He sleeps at night.
Q. Why it is impossible to send a telegram to Washington today?
A: Because he is dead.
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A: It becomes wet.
Q. What often falls but never gets hurt?
A : Rain
Q. What is that no man ever saw which never was but always will be?
A : TOMORROW
Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half.
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.
Q. What gets wet with drying?
A : A towel
Q. What 3 letters change a girl into a woman?
A : AGE.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
A : Because it has its own scales.
Q. Why does a bike rest on its leg?
A : Because it is too tyred.
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her 21 year old roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive classic car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications & said, "We have an opening for people like you."
"Oh, great," the man said, "What is it?"
"It's called the door!
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you
three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention the condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your
husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women
will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the
most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second
wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said,
"That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will
be ten times richer than you. "The woman said, "That's okay, because
what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the
richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you.
Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers ONLY: Continue reading...
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to
show that women never listen!!!
Copy and Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies
who have a good sense of humor.
Hey joven that stuff rocked a lot.... nice one eh!
here is one i heard from a friend of mine..
There was a very old grannna (grandma) The family wheeled grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around herwaist to hold her up. A grandson who arrived late came up to grandma and said, "Hi, grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?"
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to her grandson..."They won't let me Fart." ooooooops
Well I dont have a funny foward or anything but I had a very interesting appointment yesterday. I went on a life insruance appointment yesterday afternoon with a co-worker (I do not like to go alone all the time esp depending on the area).
This person had requested information on life insurance over the internet and I called and booked the appointment...I prob should have qualified him a little better.
So we get to the appartment and we walk in and well the place is a mess adn 1000000 degresses. So my co-worker and I walk over and sit at the kitchen table and what is all over the table??!! Marijuiana and a Joint! THe guy didnt ever have the sense to clean it up or put it away...
Oh boy.......needless to say that appointment was over pretty quickly as there was no way he wouold get approved! _________________ ~Monique~
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 11:26 am Post subject: "Heavenly Debugging"
"Please God," the little man prayed, "you know me. I am always praying to you and yet I have had nothing but bad luck, misery, sickness and despair all my life. And look at the butcher next door. He's never prayed in his life, and yet he has nothing but prosperity, health and joy. How come a believer like me is always in trouble and he is doing well?"
Suddenly a big booming voice sounded in his ear, "Because the butcher is not always bugging me, that's why!" _________________ Register Now to have your Insurance queries solved.
A wealthy man become critically ill and admitted to a private hospital.
“I can think of only one thing to save you but I am anxious too,”his doctor said.
“Well what's that Doc? Tell me”man asked eagerly.
Doctor replied“A brain transplant. It's experimental and very expensive.”
“Money is no object,” the man said. “Can you get a brain?”
“There are three available. The first was from a college professor, but it'll cost you $10,000.”
“Don't worry, I can pay. What about the second one?”
“It was from a rocket scientist. It'll cost you $100,000.”
“I have the money. And I'd be a lot smarter too. But what about the third brain?”
“The third was from a managed care reviewer. It will set you back half a million dollars.”
“Why so much for the managed care reviewer's brain?”the patient asked.
His doctor replied,“Never been used.”
#########################################
A woman was in the hospital after feeling very ill. The doctor says to her, “I have some bad news for you. You only have three months to live.”
“Oh that's terrible,” the woman sighs, “what am I going do?”
The doctor replies, “Marry an insurance agent.”
“Will I live longer?” asks the woman.
“No,” replies the doctor, “but it will SEEM longer.”
#########################################
An insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep, downhill grade.
"I can't stop!"she shrilled."What should I do?"
"Brace yourself,"advised her husband,"and try to hit something cheap."
Hey, I'm Fred, technically serving this community from now onwards. _________________ Let's move for betterment | Click to get your state auto insurance details
I found this Insurance joke today, thought about sharing with you guys.
After many years at sea, a pirate decided to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job, he thought that he should collect on his worker's compensation insurance. He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye. The agent assured him that he would be compensated if the injuries were work related.
"How did you get the wooden leg?" asked the agent.
In a booming voice the pirate replied, "Me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me leg."
The agent replied, "That is certainly work related. How did you lose your hand?"
"Well matey, me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me hand," said the pirate.
"That's also work related. Now how did you lose your eye?" asked the agent.
The pirate replied, "Well matey, I was laying on the deck one balmy day catching some rays when this seagull flew by and dropped his duty right in me eye!"
"What does that have to do with the loss of your eye?" said the agent.
"It were the first day with me hook!" _________________ Register Now to have your Insurance queries solved.
Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:03 am Post subject: Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.
Let me share with you one poem about marriage I think you all will enjoy
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.
Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring _________________ Believe in smart work not hard work.
Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 5:38 am Post subject: Funny Joke
one time at a military camp
soldier 1 says : Sir! i heard a news from the coronel, he says there's a gay among us!
Soldier 2 says: yeah! i heard that too! i wonder who that was
Soldier 1 Says: i know who he is Sir!
Soldier 2 says: Really? tell me! quick!
Soldier 1 Says: Kiss me on the lips first before i tell you _________________ Background check | How to start a Nursing Agency
