by goodnatured » Thu Jan 10, 2008 01:08 am
I am going away for a week of training, I am not looking forward to it at all, but all the staff has to go through it, I just happen to be first, I want to get it out of the way. So, I have to figure out a way to be polite while these people that don't do my job tell me how to do my job better.
I will be taking my zoloft with me, over the last few years when I sit for a while in a classroom environment, my mind goes places that I wish it would not. I honestly can not control this crap, finally went to may doctor and got some medication.
Eventually it started happening on a daily basis at work, pretty wild stuff, I would have to get away from the scene to get it out of my head.
It is strange because it is never the same. Sometimes I get angry, sometimes just overly, overly thrilled, it is ridiculous, doctor said that I was bipolar, he tested me and I got a 9 out of 14, he says it is pretty severe. I have been okay for quite awhile now, but I will tell you the first time it happened it was a pretty crazy experience.
Has anyone dealt with anyone with bipolarism? I have always considered myself a pretty stable person, but this crap just takes control of my mind and goes places that are totally innappropriate at times.
I will be taking my zoloft with me, over the last few years when I sit for a while in a classroom environment, my mind goes places that I wish it would not. I honestly can not control this crap, finally went to may doctor and got some medication.
Eventually it started happening on a daily basis at work, pretty wild stuff, I would have to get away from the scene to get it out of my head.
It is strange because it is never the same. Sometimes I get angry, sometimes just overly, overly thrilled, it is ridiculous, doctor said that I was bipolar, he tested me and I got a 9 out of 14, he says it is pretty severe. I have been okay for quite awhile now, but I will tell you the first time it happened it was a pretty crazy experience.
Has anyone dealt with anyone with bipolarism? I have always considered myself a pretty stable person, but this crap just takes control of my mind and goes places that are totally innappropriate at times.
Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 07:16 pm Post Subject:
I myself would not tolerate it, you must be tone deaf to have tolerated it for this long. LOL, you are a better woman than me, he would have been straightened out a long time ago honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He should consider himself lucky to have you. You should go on the show trade my spouse or something like that so that he can experience a woman who would not take his crap.
Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 08:56 pm Post Subject:
I have though of that also. Yes, sometimes he admits these things .I guess thats the big reason I have stayed as long as I have.He has even told me no one else would take his crap.I even have a note he wrote me years ago calling himself Mr Meanie. he knows he does wrong to me its like he just cannot help himself when he gets into that mood. Thats why I said I think he is bi-polar. He is not as bad as he was a few years ago either.He used to curse something terrible.Every other word was the F---- word.Since his dad dies 2 years ago he has stopped the cursing.The kids are afraid of him.They love him cause he is so good to them but he is strick also. Over protective I say.They have told me they hate him,but I know they don't mean it .They are just reacting to his moods.Thing is my oldest daughter has been in therapy and used to cut herself.She is just like him ,all moody.
Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:05 pm Post Subject:
oh man, what a nightmare your house must be sometimes, god girl. Is he not adult enough to seek help if he is affecting the kids this way too. There is a point where "I can't help it" does not work anymore.
Will he go to a doctor and get some medication? Seriously for the rest of you. your kids should have happy memories of their childhood, and not live in fear. Sad part is that people like him think they have to intimidate others to get respect, not true, what the hell is he afraid of? Emotion and showing it to the ones that mean the most to him. Those kids would probably love to hear him say that he cares for them and he should not assume that they know it either. Fear and repect are two different things, they need to know that they can depend on him and you. Was he raised by a mean parent? Sometimes people think it is ok if it happened to them? I hope your children don't carry this into thier own households when they are grown and gone. Sometimes this will happen if this is all they know.
He needs to confront what ever is going on inside him, it does not make him weak or less of a man. He would open up a side of him that your whole family deserves to see and experience. I wish you luck honey, lots of it.
Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:43 pm Post Subject:
what the hell is he afraid of?
losing her.........Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 03:24 pm Post Subject:
Do you know what I mean about fear Lori? You see where I am coming from on that right?
I think sometimes when people have a fear of losing or showing what they feel because they feel it is a weakness. It is not a weakness, they are not any smaller of a man. I just hope he sees this before it is too late.
Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 03:48 am Post Subject:
I have to go for a few days of training that is like a four hour drive on Feb 20-22, not looking forward to traveling in February, always a chance that the weather could be risky, so since it is a few weeks away I am trying not to put it out of my mind until about a week before it happens or I will be a worry wart. Get really anxious and moody. I told them that if the weather is crappy I am not going to risk it. Hopefully it won't be cause they don't take not showing up to lightly but I am not going to risk life or limb to get there. I would have to travel the turnpike and there are a lot of big trucks on there, that makes me even more nervous. I have made this trip at least 10 times but it is always in the middle of summer. Wish they were putting it off until then, but they won't. Oh well, have to wait and see
Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 11:17 am Post Subject:
Do you know what I mean about fear Lori? You see where I am coming from on that right?
Yes, I agreed, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about...some people get their actions all 'wharped'' up...they fear abandonment, and rather than treat her like a queen, he treats her like crap so she wouldn't '''realize''' how scared he is....or he thinks if he ''acts'' like this toward her when the 'inevitiable' does occur (her leaving), it won't hurt so bad...just twisted...lots of men like this...I'll make you feel alittle better about your trip Good natured...I travel an average of 150 miles a day in all kinds of crap weather (some times as much as 300 miles)...everyday....next month (and every other month) I have to drive four HOURS ONE WAY for a 2-3 hour meeting that could be covered in a half page memo! and back the same day! SO STUPID....AND PISSES ME OFF EVERY TIME!
Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 03:41 am Post Subject:
ewwwwwwwww, I will hope for good weather for both of you. Hate to travel in the winter time. Long trips anyway.
Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:16 pm Post Subject:
Thanks Lori, This is a veterans training, it will be three days long, three days of hearing the same crap that we already know. It is only once a year, I just get nautious at the winter driving on the turnpike, they say, the turn pike it always clean, well I say, there are more big trucks and more idiots that like to drive fast on the turnpike!!!!!!!!!!
I just hope we have a few days of good weather or I won't be going and probably will get chewed out for it.
Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:23 pm Post Subject:
I hear dat! Three of four more inches coming my way today...aghhhh....they do say that due to the check points turnpikes are not supposed to have bad speeding (you can actually get a ticket when they check you thru if you made too good of time!--in KS anyway)....I know what you mean about the driving...especially in bad weather, I have to do so much of it...and my phone never stops ringing, everyone from my kids, parents, sister, grandma, husband etc...making sure I'm ok...even had a message from my 19 month old grand daughter! ha ha, ''Namy, I wuv u Namy, Car-ful Namy" so sweet....if it helps you even a 'veteran' like me of driving in ugly weather, I clinch up for the duration too when the streets are bad:(
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