by Guest » Sat Dec 10, 2011 05:58 am
Hello Im in the uk so i dont know if laws are diffrent but im wondering if anyone can help please. My father has severe dementia and unfortunately doesn't have long to live, I am unsure of who my fathers beneficiary is, but even though he is now in a care home he is still married to my mother, however she is now in a relationship with someone and he is living in our home, although he is not registered to living here, When you sign up for life insurance do you have to state your beneficiary? Because i dont want my mother to have all the money because she is now in a relationship, that goes against their marrage also so would that stand up in court? i was thinking if they got divorced now would the beneficiary go to me and my two siblings? It may seem i am only intrested in the money, however that is not the case, i believe that because my mother is now in a relationship it would be unfair that she could claim all money and estate from my father and live a life with her new partner? Because once the life insurance comes through she may sell the house and with all the money she has get a big one in contract with her partner, then if my mother where to pass it would go to his children also and not just us, when its my fathers money they are benifiting off. I Would be greatfull if someone could give me some help, thanks alot.
Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 07:58 am Post Subject:
If this isn't all about the money, what is it about?
If your father wants the money to go to you, he'll have named you as a beneficiary. If he wants the money to go to your mom, she'll be the beneficiary.
Do you think that he wants her to be happy? If he could make a decision now, do you think that he would say, "Sweetie Pie, I want you to have my money, but if you are lucky enough to find another guy who treats you well and makes you happy, screw you. You can't have my life insurance."
Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 08:09 am Post Subject:
Only the owner of the policy has the right to change the beneficiary. I assume that is probably your father. His beneficiary designation at the time will probably stand.
Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 09:14 pm Post Subject:
even though he is now in a care home he is still married to my mother, however she is now in a relationship with someone and he is living in our home,
You crazy, happy-go-lucky Brits. No wonder you lost "The Big One" not too long after 1776. Screwed with the colonies over tea stamps and lost, now you're just screwing each other. Sounds like you're still losing.
As others have said, whatever your father believed was the right thing to do with his money at the time he named the beneficiary(ies) . . . the world will have to live with that. And so will you.
Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 04:18 am Post Subject: Wrong
Wrong, I can forge his signature or get him to change it, and no my mothers a money grabbing whore and doesn't deserve it
Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 06:08 am Post Subject:
Wrong, I can forge his signature or get him to change it
Both of those things, even under British law, are crimes, and would disqualify you from the money.
Accept the fact that if you're not the beneficiary, you won't be entitled to the money.
Then again, dear old Dad, may surprise you and Mum both and leave the money to the Cat Foundation.
Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:05 am Post Subject:
You crazy, happy-go-lucky Brits. No wonder you lost "The Big One" not too long after 1776. Screwed with the colonies over tea stamps and lost, now you're just screwing each other. Sounds like you're still losing.
Give me a break MAX! Sometimes I think you just talk to hear your your own voice.
As for Carl12345, listen I'm sorry to hear of your situation and feelings, but please take your Mothers feelings into consideration. Your father is incapacitated and I am sorry about that but your mother is human and she needs the love of a man that your father can no longer provide her. I am sure she still loves your father but to ask a person (your mother) to live the rest of her life alone is not fair. You only live once! Your mother is showing the need for companionship, do not rob her of it.
Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 12:04 pm Post Subject:
TFI says . . .
I am sure she still loves your father but to ask a person (your mother) to live the rest of her life alone is not fair.
The OP said previously . . .
my mothers a money grabbing whore and doesn't deserve it
I have to tip the scale in favor of the OP on this. I think they use the same wedding script in the UK . . . you know, "'til death do us part." Unfortunately, the post reads like a soap opera synopsis. It's not a pretty situation. But it is what it is.
Despite the carnal urges that she cannot control, if Mum had any true moral fiber, she wouldn't be shacking up until after her hubby was in the grave. My dad died 31 years ago, and my mom never remarried, never even considered dating -- they were married 30 years, and today she's 87.
I sympathize entirely with the hurt feelings of the OP, but the sad reality is he and everyone else will have to make do with whatever Dad's last instructions were to the insurance company when he was of sound mind. That's just the way insurance works.
The OP would be ill-advised to attempt any kind of change on his own at this point, or to even attempt to get Dad to authorize any kind of a change, when medical authorities would probably disagree that he was coherent enough to know what he was signing (a change of beneficiary form),
Now the OP aside,
You only live once! Your mother is showing the need for companionship, do not rob her of it.
It's that same lapse of ethics that gets our friend TaxFreeIncome in trouble believing he can sell people life insurance under the misconception they are buying TAX-FREE INCOME for themselves.
Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 08:28 pm Post Subject:
Max,
The fact that your mom didn't remarry and didn't date says nothing about her moral fiber. It could mean that she dated and didn't want to share that part of her life with you. It could mean that she was gay. It could mean that she just wasn't interested. It could mean that she just was so hurt that she couldn't allow herself to get close again. Your mom may have the greatest morals ever, but that has nothing do with the fact that she didn't date.
Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 08:31 pm Post Subject:
Based upon what is posted, the only person whom we know for sure is a money grabbing whore is Carl.
1) He wants the money for himself.
2) He thinks that his mom is a money grabbing whore, yet he still chooses to mooch off of her and live with her and her boyfriend.
Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:37 pm Post Subject:
Maybe Max's loveless childhood explains his need to bash others and put words in their mouths that they never said.
Max you are a total idiot!
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