by Quenlin » Thu Dec 27, 2007 02:58 am
When I used to work an admin job, one of my favorite pastimes was making life miserable for the new guys, here are a few oldies but goodies I had them fall for.
"You know the bosses room? With the tartan pattern on the wall? Well it needs a repaint, so do me a favor and run down to Homebase and get some Tartan Paint."
Ever tried finding tartan paint? It can be hard to find, even in Scotland.
"Small problem, Joey was screwing with the printer and he let the smoke out, go down to GAME and see if they have any magic smoke, if not, try Tesco."
Magic smoke is an electronics term that refers to the puff of smoke that comes out of a machine when it fries, one euphemism for this is "You let the smoke out!"
"Lightbulb broke, run down to William Lowes and get a lightbulb repair kit for me."
Ever tried repairing a lightbulb?
"New mechanic's a leftie, stop by Homebase at lunch and get a left-handed screwdriver."
Self-explanatory.
"Run down to the meeting room and ask the boss for the long stand."
So many people fall for this trick. They end up standing there for 20-30 minutes before they realize they've been had. I also call this the Long Weight. I learned this one from my history teacher.
"We're out of Elbow Grease, stop by the shipyards while you're down at the Port, tell them I sent you."
No such thing, like everything else. Port refers to Port Glasgow, where Fergusons shipyard is.
"I need some more universal solvent to get rid of this stain, go get some at Homebase, and, for Gods sake, bring it back before it melts the bottle!"
Good luck getting it back in time.
"While you're in the town, stop by the pet store and see if they have any wild haggii, we need it as a mascot."
The Bigfoot of Scotland, the elusive Wild Haggis. I loved to send the foreigners for this one. Haggis is a food, and a mythical animal we made up to fool tourists.
I love doing these, I've fallen for the Long Stand and Elbow Grease before. Pretty widespread jokes, and I think I covered them all. I sometime send them to William Lowes for certain things if they're not from Greenock. They spend all day looking for William Lowes until they ask about it, then it dawns on them that it's now popularly called "The wee Tescos"
"You know the bosses room? With the tartan pattern on the wall? Well it needs a repaint, so do me a favor and run down to Homebase and get some Tartan Paint."
Ever tried finding tartan paint? It can be hard to find, even in Scotland.
"Small problem, Joey was screwing with the printer and he let the smoke out, go down to GAME and see if they have any magic smoke, if not, try Tesco."
Magic smoke is an electronics term that refers to the puff of smoke that comes out of a machine when it fries, one euphemism for this is "You let the smoke out!"
"Lightbulb broke, run down to William Lowes and get a lightbulb repair kit for me."
Ever tried repairing a lightbulb?
"New mechanic's a leftie, stop by Homebase at lunch and get a left-handed screwdriver."
Self-explanatory.
"Run down to the meeting room and ask the boss for the long stand."
So many people fall for this trick. They end up standing there for 20-30 minutes before they realize they've been had. I also call this the Long Weight. I learned this one from my history teacher.
"We're out of Elbow Grease, stop by the shipyards while you're down at the Port, tell them I sent you."
No such thing, like everything else. Port refers to Port Glasgow, where Fergusons shipyard is.
"I need some more universal solvent to get rid of this stain, go get some at Homebase, and, for Gods sake, bring it back before it melts the bottle!"
Good luck getting it back in time.
"While you're in the town, stop by the pet store and see if they have any wild haggii, we need it as a mascot."
The Bigfoot of Scotland, the elusive Wild Haggis. I loved to send the foreigners for this one. Haggis is a food, and a mythical animal we made up to fool tourists.
I love doing these, I've fallen for the Long Stand and Elbow Grease before. Pretty widespread jokes, and I think I covered them all. I sometime send them to William Lowes for certain things if they're not from Greenock. They spend all day looking for William Lowes until they ask about it, then it dawns on them that it's now popularly called "The wee Tescos"
Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 03:59 am Post Subject:
I would be so mad at you, LOL. I like your sense of humor here, but I could not deal with the joking everyday at work, LOL, you are bad, LOL.
Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:18 pm Post Subject:
We got our manager one day by telling him "That tool is down waiting part. It needs a new flux capacitor and thats on back order. Should have one back by the end of the week." This lasted through the day until the night shift manager came on and told him that there is no flux capacitor. For those who dont know the flux capacitor is from back to the future and does not really exist.
Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:20 pm Post Subject:
Dang I forgot the voice activated stocker system. We had a blast with that one even wrote a manual on how to use the Voice activated stocker system. Basically we had the mark yell into the stocker what lot he wanted, someone else behind him at a computer called that lot out to that stocker. This went great lasted a week before some people walking by completly broke down laughing and had to explain it to him.
For some reason he was pretty upset. Gotta love automation some times.
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