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 Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 11:36 am Post subject: what are my rights as a wife. |
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| my husband recently found out he has a 12 year old son,he has added his son on his benefficiary to recieve 50% of his life insurane,and i am to recieve the other 50%.he is not realizing that out of my 50%,all of his depts has got to be paid.im worried that there may not be enough to do what i am responsable to do.can he legally do this without my consent.what are my rights as his spouse?i dont think it is fair for his son to have such a high percentage of our life insurance,we also have three other kids that are mine who is not getting anything,not fair...what can i do? |
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vicious96
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| Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 11:52 am Post subject: |
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Maybe your husband is trying to make up to this estranged son for not having been in his life for 12 years...You have no say in how or who your husband lists his beneficary, he can give it all to the boy. Why have you not discussed this with your husband? Why not get another policy that goes directly to you?
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Lori
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| Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:57 pm Post subject: |
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I would challenge you to think about this differently. Let's say that he has a $250,000 policy and $125,000 is going to you and $125,000 is going to his son.
Separate this into two different issues. The first issue is that $125,000 is going to his son. You shouldn't be upset about this. If he wants $125,000 to go to his son, why should you care? It sounds like a nice thing to do.
The second issue is that you feel that if he dies, there isn't enough money for you to be ok. This should be your focus. If he dies today, how much money do you need to be ok? If it is $250,000, for example, the solution is simply to buy another $125,000 of coverage with you as the beneficiary. If you have a fear of him changing the beneficiary, you should be owner and beneficiary.
Your rights as a spouse are to have a conversation with your husband and explain that you want him to buy more coverage so that you'll be ok if something happens to him. If he knows that you won't be ok and he won't buy more, he probably doesn't love you. |
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InsuranceExpert
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| Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | If he knows that you won't be ok and he won't buy more, he probably doesn't love you |
Now, now, selfish jerks are capable of loving. Maybe he just loves his marlboro's and nautural light more than he loves her. |
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Fishman
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| Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:40 pm Post subject: |
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Interesting subject. I'm sure one that's been debated quite a bit over the years.
I'm a Texas resident. Texas is a community property state. I am required to have my spouse's permission if I list anyone other than him as a beneficiary on anything (life insurance, bank accounts, 401k, etc). Personally, I disagree with that.
We both have children from prior marriages and I believe it should be our own individual choice as to whom we decide we want to leave money to after we pass on. I don't believe the government should have the right to require me to get permission from anyone to list someone as a beneficiary. It's my money, I earned it.
But, then I can see the other side of the coin with women (of even men) that decide to be a stay-at-home parent. While they don't bring in an income, they certainly do have a job, have sacrificed and invested into their family by staying at home and should be entitled to financial security in the event of their spouse's death.
While life insurance is not my specialty, I do know I was able to purchase a policy that insures my spouse. I own the policy, I pay for the policy, therefore, I have the right to list myself as the beneficiary. He has no control over it since I own the policy. That may be an avenue you might want to pursue.
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AnMarieB
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| Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 11:45 pm Post subject: |
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| AnMarie, I don't understand your last post. You seem to be saying that you have to get your spouses permission to name someone other than him as beneficiary, but in the last paragraph, you are saying that you can name yourself as the beneficiary. What am I not understanding? |
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InsuranceExpert
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| Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 11:34 am Post subject: insurance |
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| Quote: | | you are saying that you can name yourself as the beneficiary |
Can someone actually do this? Be the Owner of the policy and put themselves as a Beneficiary?! If you COULD do this, why WOULD you? If the Owner was Beneficiary, and the Owner passes away, then how would the Life Insurance be settled?! Thsi just seem like it would be 'legit' to do. |
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sdchargersfan
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| Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 11:44 am Post subject: Life Insurance |
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| (Just want to 'add' to this, as well) I think you should be proud of your husband for wanted to 'stand up' and take responsibility for his son. ALOT of men ( and women) don't do this. |
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sdchargersfan
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| Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 10:01 pm Post subject: |
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It's not uncommon at all for the owner and the beneficiary to be the same person.
Keep in mind that we're not talking about the owner and the insured being the same person.
I'll give you some examples if this doesn't make sense. |
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InsuranceExpert
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| Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 12:17 pm Post subject: Life Insurance |
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| INSURANCEEXPERT.....you said this is NOT "uncommon?" How can this be done? yes..please give me a few examples....where would the money go, etc., if the Owner and Beneficiary are the same person? |
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sdchargersfan
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| Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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Ex. SDchargerfan is the owner. Her son is the insured. SDchargerfan is the beneficiary. Son dies. SDchargerfan collects insurance proceeds.
Ex. SDchargerfan is the owner. Her key employee is the insured. SDchargerfan is the beneficiary. Key employee dies. SDchargerfan collects insurance proceeds.
Ex. SDchargerfan is the owner. Her husband is the insured. SDchargerfan is the beneficiary. Husband dies. SDchargerfan collects insurance proceeds.
What would happen in any of those examples if SDchargerfan would be the one to die? The insurance policy would be part of her estate. Hopefully, her will mentions what happens to her assets. If for example, she names her son as the person who will get everything, in all three examples, her son would become the new owner of the policy. |
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InsuranceExpert
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| Posted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 4:49 am Post subject: insurance |
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| OHH!! Ok..I get it!! I do have to admit I was getting a bit confused on the 'owner, insured, Beneficiary' thing. I have a 401(K) at work. they need a POA/Benficiary' thing on it. Now....my employment is the Owner. I am the Insured. My son and good friend are the Beneficiaries. Is THIS, on the 'right track' of what you mean (or..do 401(K)'s even 'apply' here?). |
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sdchargersfan
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| Posted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 10:51 am Post subject: |
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Hi vicious96
Are you working? Maybe you could try and save some money for your kids or better still buy a policy in your name and add your kids as beneficiary. I'm sure your husband has some financial plans for your kids too. Maybe a decent conversation with him would help you understand his plans better.
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sil
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| Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 1:23 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | OHH!! Ok..I get it!! I do have to admit I was getting a bit confused on the 'owner, insured, Beneficiary' thing. I have a 401(K) at work. they need a POA/Benficiary' thing on it. Now....my employment is the Owner. I am the Insured. My son and good friend are the Beneficiaries. Is THIS, on the 'right track' of what you mean (or..do 401(K)'s even 'apply' here?). |
401(k)s don't apply. I'm strictly talking about insurance.
Owner: Person who gets to make all decisions.
Insured: Person whose life is being insured.
Beneficiary: Person who collects the benefit at death. |
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InsuranceExpert
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| Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 8:09 am Post subject: |
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vicious, i also believe that your husband's naming his 'newfound' son as beneficiary of 50% of his insurance is his way of making it up to him. i don't think this is in any way unfair. his son deserves this. and your husband has all the freedom to do this since he is the owner.
i also agree that the only way for you to settle whatever ill feelings you have about this issue is to talk to your husband. tell him how leaving you with only 50% doesn't make you feel secure enough about the future in case something happens to him. then you two might consider getting another insurance. |
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choco
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